Teaching the Whole Counsel of His Word, Part 3

March, 2004

by: Brock Bolde

It has been said that “the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Now to some of us this sounds really good but we kind of scratch our heads as to the why of this statement. We ponder the connection between a husband's love for his wife and his role as a father. Are the two really as intertwined as this statement would have them to be? The answer to that question is a resounding “yes” and below I have listed just a few of the reasons why!

The first reason to support the importance of this love is the Bible itself. God's Word is crystal clear in Ephesians 5:25 that a husband is to love his wife “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Failure to obey this straightforward command that is given to all husbands would severely hinder a father's ability to exhort/encourage his children to obey those commands that are given to all children. A father who asks his children to obey God but doesn't take great care to love his wife as Christ loved the church is a hypocrite. He becomes a modern–day Pharisee and thus suffers the scorn that Jesus heaped upon the Pharisees in Matthew 15:8 — “This people honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far away from Me. But in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the precepts of men.” If a man is to make an eternal impact in the life of his children, he must start by being obedient to the Word of God in his own life; which means that he must strive to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Far too many men are dropping the ball in this vital area of their lives and as a result their families, especially the children, are in danger of having their faith shipwrecked.

Another reason why it is so important for a father to love his wife is that the father is to be the leader in the family (Ephesians 5:23; 1 Thessalonians 3:10-12). As a result, he is to show his children how a godly man is to manage his house (1 Timothy 3:4). For those of us with sons, they are to see in us behavior that will help them to someday lead their own families. For those of us with daughters, they are to see in us those qualities that they will someday be looking for in a husband. How a man treats his wife is paving the way for how his children will someday treat or be treated by their future spouses. Whenever I want to gauge how I'm doing in this area, I often ask myself how would I feel if my daughter's future husband were talking to her like I'm talking to my wife. After I repent in sackcloth and ashes, I work hard to watch my tone and attitude. The father's role is a critical one and he must never forget the impact that he has on the lives of his children.

For those of you who have had the privilege of growing up with a godly example, may you never forget the valuable lessons that you were able to see lived out before you. For those of us who have not had that privilege, let us seek to turn the tide and begin a spiritual legacy within our families that will carry forth until the day that our glorious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ returns to take us home.