Honest to God

May, 2004

by: Dave Hintz

It's 6:00pm and the traffic on the 405 has slowed to a crawl. After a long day of work, you want nothing more than to kick back with your family, savor a home cooked meal, and read a story to your kids. Yet a stalled vehicle in the Sepulveda Pass has just postponed your desires by thirty minutes. Sitting in the car, your mind stews upon that foolish driver who should have known better than to take his 1975 Volkswagen van with a standard transmission into the Valley. You begin to resent the steady stream of drivers who take advantage of your good will, by cutting in front of you to get around the stationary van. And then an impatient driver who has the audacity to honk their horn at you detonates the ticking time bomb of your anger. Enraged, you unleash a steady stream of expletives that would make a sailor blush while simultaneously slamming your fists against the steering wheel. Then you realize that you have been a victim of road rage. Still feeling the fury within yourself, you cry out to God, “Lord, I don't want to be angry, please help me!” However, you have to ask yourself, “Is that really an honest prayer?” I mean really, if you did not want to be angry, you would not have stewed upon the shortcomings of others, you would not have cussed, and your hands would be calmly clasping the steering wheel. Yet, something inside of us causes us to want to put our best face forward to God.

So often when friends ask us how we are doing, we give the obligatory answer “Fine, great, couldn't be better!” Such an answer places people at a safe distance, but does nothing to deepen the relationship nor allow them to help us with our struggles. In the same way, when approaching God, we try to put our best face forward, by making such claims as “I don't want to sin.” That does not impress an omniscient God. Both Psalm 139:2“Thou dost know when I sit down and when I rise up; Thou dost understand my thought from afar” and Psalm 44:21“Would not God find this out? For He knows the secrets of the heart,”” attest to His infinite wisdom. No thought of yours is secret from God. For instance, God would not be surprised if you tell Him, “Lord, I want to be angry and cuss some more” because He already knows it. Therefore, trying to put your best face forward to God is fruitless, since you hide absolutely nothing. In fact, such superficiality leaves us with the impression that we are much further along than we actually are, and deceives us into thinking that if we don't mention it to God, He won't know.

So what does an honest prayer look like? Well, it comes to terms with the heart behind the sin and recognizes that no thought can be hidden from an omniscient God. So instead of telling God that you don't want to sin, you confess having a heart that wants to rebel. Instead of asking God to strengthen your desire for holiness, you admit that at the moment you crave wickedness, and you ask God to change your heart. These principles when put into practice might look like this “Lord, You know all things and You know that I want to be angry and cuss. Currently I possess the heart of a murderer, and I do not want to change. I now ask You, please change my desires. Help me repent from my anger, and help me to want to obey You.” See the difference? In the first prayer, you either deceived yourself or lied to God. Such a prayer recognizes God's omniscience by not hiding any sin from God. It also recognizes complete dependence as you don't ask God to strengthen your desire for holiness, but to give it to you. You can never surprise God with your sins and your shortcomings, so you might as well be honest about them.