A Problem of Epidemic Proportions

September, 2004

by: Brock Bolde

In listening to the modern sages, it would appear as if people everywhere are suffering from a problem that is reaching endemic proportions! This problem is so wide spread, in fact, that books are being written by the tens of thousands in an effort to help people to deal with it. A simple search over the web produces about 1,000,000 “hits” on the subject. For many in our culture, it has become the root of every social ill and problem that exists. Schools have gone to great lengths to ensure that this dilemma is dealt with properly so that no child will suffer from its ill effects. So what is this gross crisis that poses such a threat to so many — it is low self–esteem! That is what the “experts” are telling the world and unfortunately the world is eating it up.

As Christians, you and I must filter everything through the Word of God. In doing so, we are spared from many of the false claims and latest trends that run through our culture. I am currently reading through a book by Edward T. Welch that is entitled — “When People Are Big and God Is Small.” In his book, Mr. Welch offers his readers a perspective that is very different from that of the “experts.” “The massive interest in self–esteem and self–worth exists because it is trying to help us with a real problem. The problem is that we really are not okay. There is no reason why we should feel great about ourselves. We truly are deficient. The meager props of the self–esteem teaching will eventually collapse as people realize that their problem is much deeper” (p. 29). This is a far cry from those who would have us believe that “building self–esteem will enable you to live life to the full;” whatever that means! Mr. Welch holds to the biblical view of man when it comes to man's true condition before a holy God (Romans 3:10-18, 23, 5:8; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Ephesians 5:5-8). No amount of self–esteem is going to be able to change man's condition; the only thing that can do that is faith in Christ. It will not matter how much we liked ourselves if we are on the path to Hell. You and I must understand this and we must help our children to understand this. They must see themselves for who they really are — sinners in need of a Savior (Jesus Christ).

The self–esteem bandwagon is big and getting bigger. This idea of bolstering our child's self–esteem is even finding its way into the church. But I believe that we do our children a huge disservice when we undeservedly praise them. Too many kids think more highly of themselves than they ought to. We are in the midst of raising a generation that doesn't know what it means to work hard. They are praised whether they do their very best or not; all for the sake of building their self–esteem. Edward T. Welch offers his readers some words of wisdom when he writes: “Low self–esteem usually means that I think too highly of myself. I'm too self involved, I feel I deserve better than what I have. The reason I feel bad about myself is that I aspire to something more. I want just a few minutes of greatness. I am a peasant who wants to be king. When you are in the grips of low self–esteem, it's painful, and it certainly doesn't feel like pride. But I believe that this is the dark, quieter side of pride — thwarted pride” (p. 32). As parents, let us strive to do that which is best for the children that God has entrusted to our care. Let us help them to understand their fallen condition and thus show them their need for Jesus. Let us reject the “wisdom” of this world and seek to train up our children with the wisdom that is found in the Word of God! Let us help them to find their infinite value in Jesus Christ, not in and of themselves.