The Blessing of Boundaries

October, 2004

by: Brock Bolde

You and I are living in a culture that is thoroughly overindulged. In an attempt to be the kind of parents that they never had, many parents are having a hard time setting boundaries for their children. Things have gotten so bad it seems, that it is even creating a stir within the secular magazines. In a recent Newsweek article written by Peg Tyre, Julie Scelfo and Barbara Kantrowitz, these journalists had this to say:

This generation of parents has always been driven to give their kids every advantage, from Mommy & Me swim classes all the way to that thick envelope from an elite college. But despite their good intentions, too many find themselves raising “wanting machines” who respond like Pavlovian dogs to the marketing behemoth that's aimed right at them. Even getting what they want doesn't satisfy some kids—they only want more. Now, a growing number of psychologists, educators and parents think it's time to stop the madness and start teaching kids about what's really important—values like hard work, delayed gratification, honesty and compassion.

What I want to know is where have these psychologists, educators, and parents been for the last 20 years? I am constantly amazed at how fickle the “experts” within our society can be. Many within these groups seem to be content going wherever the winds of theory will take them. As a result, the casualties are many and the consequences are oftentimes catastrophic. The sad part is that much of this could be avoided — especially by those within the Church. God has given us guidelines and boundaries that are meant for our good and yet far too many of us get caught up in listening to the “experts.” We treat the Bible as if it isn't “inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).

God's Word has made it perfectly clear what our responsibility is to our children. As parents, we are called to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6). This does not mean that we are to be our child's best friend; it doesn't mean that we are to expose them to so many different activities that we have to find part–time work to fund those activities; it doesn't mean that we must buy them the latest and greatest toys and fashions; nor does it mean that we must do whatever we can to make them “happy.” To train up a child in the way he should go simply means that we must do everything that we can to teach and live out the commandments that are found in the Word of God! We are to do this whether the “experts” agree with us or not. We are to do this because this is what the One whom we call “Lord” tells us to do!

The older I get, which is getting pretty old by the way, the more I realize that ideas and theories come and go. But one thing that does not change is the Word of God. It is unchangeable and it alone has proven itself to be trustworthy. As a result, you and I, not to mention our children, would be well served to adhere to its teachings rather than to the fades and trends of our culture. I would venture to say that 20 years ago the secular “experts” were writing about the importance of not setting boundaries for your children. They would have thought that you were inhibiting your child's creativity. Having seen the fruit of that theory, we are now hearing of a child's need for boundaries. Who knows where the winds of theory will blow within the next 20 years! But regardless, God has given us the more sure Word in order to help us to stand firm and thus raise–up a new generation of children who love Him and desire to bring Him glory through their service to Him.