A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 1

November, 2004

by: Brock Bolde

Recently, I had the privilege of speaking to some college–aged students about some of the daunting tasks of being a parent. I attempted to share with them some of the joys, as well as some of the sorrows. I let them know that it would be one of the most difficult endeavors of their lives, but I also let them know that it would be very rewarding. I let them know that as a parent, they would learn a great deal about themselves. I let them know that they would come face to face with their depravity — their self–centeredness; their anger; their pride. I also let them know that they would learn a great deal about God and His character — His grace; His mercy; His unconditional love. I attempted to paint a balanced picture of parenting — one that was not too bright so that they might not enter into it lightly, but one that was not too dark so that they might not ever enter into it. I hope that I was able to strike that balance.

Over the next five issues of the Calvary Review, I'd like to share the points of the message that I shared with the college–aged students. It is a message that will hopefully remind those of us who are parents to do what God's Word has called us to do. Over the next five months I want to offer you five essential actions that you must practice if you are to effectively G.U.I.D.E. your child through the pitfalls and snares of life. These points will be laid out in an acrostic, which will spell the word guide, so that each of us can easily commit them to memory.

The first action that you must seek to practice in order to effectively G.U.I.D.E. your children will be the act of governing. Through this act of leadership you must always remember that God has not called you to be your child's best friend. There are too many parents out there that are trying to be their child's best friend instead of his parent. God has not called you to befriend your child but rather He has called you to parent your child. Being a parent is a position of authority. It puts in place the familial hierarchy that each of us is to function under. The Father is the leader; the mother is the helpmate who functions as the leader in the Father's absence; and the children are the one's that are to be trained up in the way that they should go (Proverbs 22:6)!

As those who have been put in a position of leadership then, we must ensure that we are not governing those under our authority as an authoritative dictator but rather we are to govern them as a loving shepherd. There is a certain tenderness and affection that must be present as we govern our children. J.C. Ryle in his little booklet entitled “The Duties of Parents” says this: “A minister may speak the truth as it is in Jesus, clearly, forcibly, unanswerably; but if he does not speak it in love, few souls will be won. Just so you must set before your children their duty, — command, threaten, punish, reason, — but if affection be wanting in your treatment, your labor will be all in vain” (p. 5).

God has placed each and every parent in a position of authority. As those who are in authority, you are to act like someone who is in authority. Effective parents do not let their children stumble around aimlessly, but rather they lay out a clear course for their children to follow. You must have a plan and this plan must be derived from the Word of God. Whether you consider yourself to be a leader or not, I want each of you to know that you automatically become one the moment you have a child. God has put you in a position of authority and He has called you to lead accordingly. The key is to make sure that you govern in accordance to the Word of God. Matthew 20:28 says that “the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” If you are to effectively G.U.I.D.E. your children, then you must understand the authority that God has given you and seek to use that authority in a way that will bring Him glory!

• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 1
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 2
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 3
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 4
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 5