A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 4

February, 2005

by: Brock Bolde

This month we will be looking at the fourth action that parents must take if they are to effectively g.u.i.d.e. their children in this life. Thus far in the series, we have seen the parent's need to Govern their children — something that is done in love as a parent seeks to follow the example that was laid by our great God and Savior — Jesus Christ; the parent's need to Unveil their child's need for salvation — our children must know that they are in need of saving and that salvation is found in none other than Jesus Christ; the parent's need to Instruct their children — teaching your children about the things of God is to be a top priority for every parent. Having looked at these three essential actions, we are now ready to examine the fourth which is the parent's need to Discipline.

Discipline is by far the most un–fun part of parenting — but it is a critical part nonetheless. For it is here that the parent is able to demonstrate his or her true love for their child. The Book of Proverbs has much to say in regards to the importance of discipline. Consider the following:

• Proverbs 3:12 “For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”
• Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.”

There are a variety of ways in which to discipline a child — I write to you as an unashamed spanker. Despite what the so–called “experts” have to say about spanking, my wife and I have found it to be one of the most effective methods for impacting our children's lives. The Bible also offers much support for this form of discipline (Proverbs 13:24, 22:15; 29:15).

When administering a spanking, my wife and I are always very deliberate in the process that we follow. A spanking should never be done in anger. If that's happening, then it's going to be hard for your child to understand that you're doing what you're doing because you love them. The process that we follow is fairly simple. It starts by sending the child to our room. From there we sit down with them and depending on how old they are ask them why they are in there? We make sure that they understand why they are going to be getting a spanking. We then take them to the Word of God and show them where they violated the Scriptures — in the beginning it is mostly because they disobeyed but as your children get older there will be specific issues that can and must be dealt with.

Once that has been done, we have them ask God for forgiveness or if they're not able to, we will ask God for them. Then we will give the spanking, hold them and comfort them immediately afterwards — reassuring the fact that we love them. And then we will have them apologize to the individual that they offended.

By going through this process, it has helped us to get our hearts right before the Lord — and it has helped us to demonstrate the love that we are called to demonstrate when practicing discipline. Spanking is an effective tool when used properly. I would recommend using it often when your children are younger and then begin to use less and less as your children get older. Discipline is an essential action of an effective parent.

• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 1
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 2
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 3
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 4
• A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 5