A Parent's G.U.I.D.E., Part 5

March, 2005

by: Brock Bolde

This month we will be wrapping up our five part series on the essentials of effective Christian parenting. To help us remember these five essentials, I have created an acrostic that spells the word – g.u.i.d.e. If parents are to effectively g.u.i.d.e. their children in this life then they must understand their need to Govern, Unveil, Instruct, Discipline, and last but not least Exemplify. It is this last point, point number 5 and the “e” in g.u.i.d.e., that will be discussed in the remainder of this article.

A gentleman by the name of Archbishop Tillotson once said that: “to give children good instruction, and a bad example, is but beckoning to them with the head to show them the way to heaven, while we take them by the hand and lead them in the way to hell.”

What a sobering statement! Let us never forget the fact that children learn much more by that which is seen than by that which is heard. That is why if you are to effectively g.u.i.d.e. your child, you must model for them what a personal relationship with Jesus Christ looks like. Unless you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you will never be able to live your life according to God’s Word nor will you ever be able to be the kind of parent that your child needs you to be. Romans 8:6-8 says: “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”

Anyone who is outside of Christ is actually hostile to God and thus unable to please God. And yet many try in vain to raise their children according to a standard that they are not willing or able to follow themselves. To attempt to raise a child according to God’s principles and standards, when a person is not living according to those principles and standards, is like trying to teach a child how to swim when that person doesn’t know how to swim! Think about it! How many of you would ever expect your children to learn how to swim by simply telling them to jump into the water, kick their feet really hard and swing their arms really fast? Nobody who knows anything about teaching would attempt something like that! Most of you would get into the water with your child and show them how to swim. Then you would work with them and let them try. All the while encouraging them and assisting them while being in the water with them! And so it must be with the spiritual training of your children.

In addition to having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you must also strive to keep God’s Word “in your heart” (Deuteronomy 6:6). This means that the Word of God is to affect every area of your life. To “be upon the heart” is to be in one’s constant, conscious reflection (NAC – Deuteronomy p. 167). This “constant, conscious reflection” of God’s laws, is to impact both the inner and outer actions of a parent. As parents, you and I are to become like the psalmist when he wrote in Psalm 119:15-16: “I will meditate on Your precepts And regard Your ways. I shall delight in Your statutes; I shall not forget Your word.”

As believers, we need to know the Word of God! It needs to be in our minds so that we are not like children, “tossed here and there by waves, and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming” (Ephesians 4:14).

Having God’s Word on your heart is critical to your task as a parent, but even of greater importance than that, having God’s Word on your heart is imperative to your walk with God. Let us all Exemplify for our children what it means to walk with Christ.