Is Your Mouth On Auto–Pilot, Part 1

April, 2005

by: Beth Mack

There are several people that I love to talk to. Want to know why? It’s because I always leave feeling encouraged. I am encouraged to continue on and most importantly I am encouraged to pursue Christ more fully. But have you ever had one of those conversations with someone that when you leave you feel more discouraged than you do encouraged? I have. Prov.18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” The tongue is powerful. We’ve experienced that in others and too often others have experienced it in our words.

I desire to be a person whose words bring life to others. A person refreshes those around her by what she says. What do these kind of words look like? I want to share four reminders of what should be true of our words. Eph. 4:29 says, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification ‍according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

First, our words need to be properly motivated. Paul says that we are to speak only such a word that is good for edification. Or as the NIV puts it, we are only to say that which is helpful for building others up. According to this, every word that we speak is to build someone up. Edification describes the work of a carpenter or mason. One motivated to build not tear down. Be assured that nothing you put into this edification project is more significant then the words that you use. Every word that you speak needs to be motivated by the desire to build others up. If it isn’t, don’t say it. The first question you need to ask yourself when you go to say something is, will this build up or will it tear down?

Second, we need to have properly mannered speech. Eph. 4:32 says that we are to be kind to one another and tenderhearted. This is in opposition to Eph 4:31 that says we are not be bitter, wrathful, and angry. Prov. 15:2 says it this way, “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable.” Or Prov. 16:23 says that “the heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips.” Most of us are aware that how others speak to us has an impact on our response.

I remember as a child my dad telling me if I would just think before I spoke I wouldn't get in nearly as much trouble. Or for that matter speak nearly as much. You see the problem is too often we let our mouth go on auto-pilot. For the next month begin to ask yourself the two questions above and then next month we will look at two more questions that we need to ask ourselves before we talk.