The Marriage Relationship

July, 2005

by: Brock Bolde

Being a parent is without question one of the most rewarding and yet challenging tasks that any of us will ever undertake. When we stop to think about all that is riding on our call to train up our children in the way they should go – the task can seem a little too daunting! “Who is adequate for these things?” If parents aren’t careful, they can allow this God-given responsibility to consume their lives to the detriment of their marriage. As Christian parents, we must understand that our children are with us for only a time. It is our job to prepare them to leave. This is not the case for our spouses; our spouses are to remain with us “til death do us part.” Despite these truths, many of us fail to give our marriages the time and attention that they need and deserve. Many of us pour so much time and effort into the raising of our children that we have little left to offer our spouses. “My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.”

The foundation of the family is the husband-wife relationship. In this relationship the husband is called to “love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). When a couple is committed to and understands the significance of their relationship to one another, the entire family is blessed and there is a true joy in the home. The best thing that parents can do for their children is to have a healthy marriage. More times than not, when a couple is struggling in the raising of their children, they are usually struggling in their marriage as well. It could be that the stress and the strain of the children have brought this about, but most likely the problem was already there and the out-of-control children are simply the manifestation of these marital issues – as the marriage goes, so goes the household!

So let me ask you, how’s your marriage? Husband, how are you doing at loving your wife? Forget for a moment that you are to love her as Christ loved the church, and let’s just gage your answer on loving her as yourself (Ephesians 5:28). It is quite natural for people to take care of themselves; we shower daily; when ill, we see a doctor or take something to help ourselves get over our ailments; when hungry, we feed ourselves. Most of us go to great lengths to make sure that we are well taken care of. And yet, despite Paul’s command for the husband to love his own wife as his own body, too many husbands fail to properly care for their wives. In fact, if these husbands were to treat their own bodies in a similar manner as to how they treat their wives, many of them would be on their death beds. With that said, this does not excuse the woman from fulfilling her responsibility within the marriage. Wife, how are you doing at respecting your husband? How are you at submitting to his authority and allowing him to lead? In our society, submission has fallen on hard times and many view it as an undesirable action. But the Bible tells us that a wife is to be subject to her husband as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). What this means is that if you really want to please the Lord, and to carry out His will in your life, then submit yourselves to your own husbands. Failure to submit to your husband’s authority, unless asked to do something that is contrary to the Word of God, is failure to submit to Jesus Christ. A woman’s obedience here is a testimony to the world of how she desires to walk in obedience to her loving Savior. When done in the right attitude, it will be something that brings a godly wife great joy.

Over the next couple of months we will take a look at the marriage relationship in order to help each of us make sure that we are giving our marriages their proper attention. By keeping our marriages a priority, we are sure to have families that honor God and bring glory to the name of Christ. So, let me ask you again – How’s your marriage?