The Purpose of Marriage

August, 2005

by: Brock Bolde

There is a war going on right now within our culture that transcends boundary lines and governmental ideologies. It is a war that, despite its lack of tanks and bombers, is leaving more carnage than any other war in the history of mankind. The war that I am referring to is not taking place in some far off land but rather it is raging in the hearts of each and every one of us. This war is a battle for the very foundation of the family — it is a war regarding marriage. The divorce rate in America is somewhere between 40-50% and doesn’t appear to be slowing down anytime soon. Why is it that so many are willing to forsake their marriage vows to join the ranks of the divorced? Quite simply, it is a failure to view marriage in the proper light. If Christians are to be salt and light in this world, then our marriages must function in accordance to the Word of God. With that said, let us move forward so as to gain a proper understanding of the purpose behind marriage.

The biblical reason as to why God created marriage is for companionship. The husband-wife relationship is to be the closest of relationships; it is to be one in which there is no phoniness or pretense. In Solving Marriage Problems, Jay Adams writes that “the purpose of marriage is to meet man’s need for companionship. Marriage was designed to defeat loneliness. Companionship is, therefore, the essence of marriage.” This is why God created marriage, and failure to understand this all-important point has led many a marriage into the pit of failure. The Scriptures are very clear to point this out to those who will hear its voice. In Genesis 2:18, we find God stating that “it is not good for the man to be alone,” therefore He makes Adam “a helper suitable for him.” God helped Adam to see that in all of creation there was no one quite like him; there was no real companion; no one he could talk to; no one he could share his deepest thoughts with; there was no one who could be Adam’s companion. But God changed all of that as evidenced in Genesis 2:21-25. This idea of companionship is found elsewhere in the Bible. In Proverbs 2:16-17, we are told that the pursuit of wisdom will “deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words; That leaves the companion of her youth And forgets the covenant of her God.” And again in Malachi 2:14, we find these words written in condemnation to those who have mistreated their wives — “Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” In both instances we find that a spouse is regarded as a companion. The husband–wife relationship is to be the epitome of commitment and intimacy. Companionship is the foundation by which marriage was built; it’s God’s cure for loneliness. A person who forsakes their marriage is forsaking something that God has created; something that was meant to fulfill one of man’s deepest needs. Any society that fails to protect the marriage relationship will eventually implode because it will have no “real” sense of relational structure.

This month, let me challenge us all to look afresh at our marriages. Let me challenge us all to think long and hard about the promises that we made on our wedding days to make certain that we do not allow man to separate that which has been joined together by God (Matthew 19:6). Of all human relationships, your spouse, not your children, is the one that is to bring you the greatest joy and satisfaction. May God help each of us to live in light of this great truth!