Teaching + Training = Faithful Parenting

November, 2005

by: Brock Bolde

Having spent the last few months stressing the importance of the husband/wife relationship, we are now ready to make the transition back into the parent/child relationship. And there is probably no better way to do this than to focus in on the two most often quoted verses regarding parenting:

Deuteronomy 6.7 : “You shall teach them (God’s commandments) diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”

Proverbs 22.6 : “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

In these verses we find two necessary actions for effective Christian parenting; the need to teach and train up. It is impossible to be a godly parent without doing both of these things. Some people feel that these terms are synonymous, but I assure you they are not. You can teach your child without training him just as easily as you can train your child without teaching him. In his book entitled Hints on Child Training, H. Clay Trumbull offers the reader some helpful differences between teaching and training: “It has been said that the essence of teaching is causing another to know. It may similarly be said that the essence of training is causing another to do.” (p. 1)

He goes on to offer some very helpful distinctions that each of us would do well to take note of:

1. Teaching gives knowledge.

   Training gives skill.

2. Teaching fills the mind.

   Training shapes the habits.

3. Teaching brings to the child that which he did not have before.

   Training enables a child to make use of that which is already his possession.

4. We teach a child the meaning of words.

   We train a child in speaking and walking.

5. We teach him the truths which we have learned for ourselves.

   We train him in habits of study, that he may be able to learn other truths for himself. (p.1)

As you can see from the above list, there is a big difference between teaching and training and failure to do both will yield disastrous results. A child who is taught to know many biblical truths without being shown how those truths are to be lived out will be of little use to the Lord; he could be likened to an automobile that is filled with gas but never driven or a house that is built but never lived in. Teaching and Training must co-exist if a parent is to be faithful to their calling. May God help each of us to teach and train those whom He has entrusted to our care!