The New Kid in Church

January, 2006

by: Dave Hintz

It was in the middle of the afternoon during Mrs. Warner’s kindergarten class, when the guidance counselor knocked on the door. All activities stopped, as a little blond boy was greeted by the watchful eyes of the other students. The counselor broke the silence, “Class, this is David Hintz. He just moved here from Pullman, Washington.” After walking me over to the teacher’s desk, she disappeared. I was in a strange place, with no friends, feeling the weight of the curious gaze of my classmates. This experience was repeated on multiple occasions as I was the new kid for three times. Consequently, I developed a deep compassion for all newcomers, especially the ones at Calvary Bible Church. Therefore, I wanted to take some time to walk you through the newcomer experience in order to help you act upon your compassion towards them.

Why New People Come

There are many reasons why people come to Calvary for the first time. Some people are simply lost and they know it. A divorce, release from prison, or a troubled conscience drives them to church. Others, have moved here from out of town, and want to connect with a Christian community so that they can have regular fellowship and quality teaching. Still others are wounded sheep, who had to leave their church on account of a church split, sin in the leadership, etc.

Why you should reach out to them

When someone comes to church for the first time, they notice that everyone seems to be doing just fine without them. People are laughing, enjoying each other’s company while they sit by themselves or with their spouse. This may lead to the perception that there may not be any room in other people’s social circle for them. Thus, they feel like outsiders, and only the most socially confident will try to change that. As the golden rule dictates, "And just as you want people to treat you, treat them in the same way” (Luke 6:31). Simple compassion and consideration should drive us to reach out.

How to Identify the New People

Here are four ways of doing so:

1. You have never seen them before. This requires that we have a general awareness of others in the church.
2. They show up early. New visitors want to avoid the potential embarrassment of coming in late, so they show up early to make sure that does not happen.
3. They sit by themselves.
4. They are holding Calvary Bible Church bags which the Host Ministry distributes.

What to do when you find them

When you see them, give them a friendly greeting with body language that suggests that you have time to talk. Ask them how long they have been coming to church and how they like it. If they haven’t been there already, direct them to the Host Ministry table, perhaps escorting them personally. Invite them to your Sunday School class or a midweek study. Don’t hesitate to ask for their phone number so that you can call and remind them. And finally, ask if you can sit by them. Now some of you might believe that this may be overreaching; however, as a rule of thumb its always better to be too friendly than cold.

Now I should warn you — reaching out to new visitors does come with a cost. You may not be able to touch base with all of your friends at church. After a hard week, some of you would like nothing better than to share some of your burdens. However, Hebrews 10:24 does not say, let us consider how others can stimulate us, but “let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds.” You can talk with your friends later, but more often then not we have a one time shot with a new visitor. If we want to grow this body, we need to retain those who come for the first time. Instead of allowing new visitors to feel ostracized, we must do everything in our power to make them feel like the most popular people in our church.