Getting to the Heart of the Matter

July, 2006

by: Tim Carns

I have heard some Christians say in regards to a fellow believer, “I will love that person but I don’t have to like them.” When I hear this, I take it to mean that they are willing to serve others despite how they feel about them and that there are just some people that are hard to get along with. The idea being communicated is that the person won’t be mean towards fellow believers he or she doesn’t get along with, but he or she won’t go out of his or her way to develop a relationship with them. Is this a biblical principle? The question is a very important one as we consider our responsibility to minister to others in the Body of Christ. We find the answer in Romans 12.

Romans 12:1 transitions (as seen by the “therefore”) from God’s plan of salvation for mankind and the riches of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as laid out in the first eleven chapters to how we should respond to our salvation. The first response is to offer ourselves in whole hearted worship to God (12:1-2). The second response is to minister to fellow believers in Christ by exercising our spiritual gifts (12:6-8) and carrying out the one anothers (12:9-16).

The “heart” of this section on the one anothers is found in verse 10 where Paul addresses the heart by calling us to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love.” The word for “devoted” here carries the idea of tender affection and authentic concern. The New Linguistic and Exegetical Key to the Greek New Testament says, “It denotes the delicate affections mutually rendered by those who cherish one another with natural affection, as the innate love of a mother, or as the love between a man and wife, or as parents and children, brothers and sisters.” Paul further reinforces the idea of family affection that we are to render to one another by describing the manner of devotion as it is to be done “in brotherly love.” This phrase comes from a Greek word that matches the name of the city that gave us Rocky Balboa and the Liberty Bell, Philadelphia. It means the love of a brother. It is not simply a love of duty but also a love of affection. The message in Romans 12:10 could not be clearer. God wants us to treat one another, not in cold-hearted duty, but with the tender affection that one gives to a dear family member. We should strive to minister to one another, not because we have to but because we want to out of love.

So let’s revisit the statement which opened this article. Is it biblical to commit to loving someone by serving them but not having to like them? I would respond to this by asking the following questions. Does this type of statement reflect a brotherly devotion or a cold love of action? Would this statement be an example of loving someone more than we love ourselves? Is this the kind of love we would like to receive from someone else? That is, just serve my needs out of duty but don’t show any interest or concern in me as a person. Most importantly, we need to ask, “Is this how God has shown His love for me?” Christ wept over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41) because of the coming judgment upon them. He resuscitated the only son of a widow because He was stirred with compassion as He looked upon her tear-stained face (Luke 7:11-17). The Lord Jesus physically touched a leper because He was deeply moved by his plight (Mark 1:41). He wept over the sorrow experienced by Mary of Bethany at the loss of her brother, Lazarus. As amazing as it sounds, these examples and many others show that God displays a deep love and affection for people beyond a love of duty alone. Here in Romans 12:10 He calls us to do the same with one another.

Let us follow the example of the Thessalonians as described by Paul: Now as to the love of the brethren, you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another; for indeed you do practice it toward all the brethren who are in all Macedonia. But we urge you, brethren, to excel still more (1 Thess 4:9-10). Paul commends them for the love of the brethren (philadelphia) that they displayed to all the believers in their region. As we seek to minister our gifts and the one anothers here at Calvary, it is my prayer that we would have the same testimony as the Thessalonians. Wouldn’t our display of genuine concern and godly affection for one another display to the watching the power of God to transform sinners? As Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).