The Necessity of Example

July, 2006

by: Brock Bolde

It has been said that the most valuable thing that a parent can give a child is a good example. While this is true, it does not negate the fact that all parents serve as examples to their children; some may be positive while others may be negative — but all serve as examples. So what kind of example are you? How are you doing at setting a good example for your children?

An early church father by the name of Athanasius once wrote — “you cannot put straight in others what is warped in yourself.” As a parent, it is imperative that you set a godly example for your children to follow. You cannot expect them to conduct themselves in a manner that they do not see displayed in you. To attempt to raise your child according to God’s principles and standards, when you yourself are not living according to those principles and standards, would be like trying to teach your child how to swim by simply telling him to jump into the water and kick his feet and swing his arms really, really fast! Most children learn how to swim by watching their parents swim; by having their parents get in the water with them and show them that they’re not going to drown. Parents who get in the water with their children are able to encourage them and assist them in their effort to swim. Sitting on the sidelines barking out orders does not usually help a child learn – active participation does.

The same holds true for the Christian life. We must be modeling what a Christian man or woman looks like to our children. They must see in us a strong desire to live godly in this fallen world. They must come to understand that we are asking them to pursue the same standard that we ourselves are pursuing – Christ-likeness! The Apostle Paul understood the importance of example as evidenced in his following letters:

• “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1).
• “The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9).
• “Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 1:13).

Paul’s life was a call to believers everywhere to follow his example. Nobody could accuse Paul of being a hypocrite – although far from considering himself perfect, Paul was fully committed to following after Jesus Christ. He understood what he was to do with the remainder of his time here on earth – he was to lead others to Christ; he was to proclaim Christ in both word and deed. Can this be said of you? Is the purpose of your life so clearly defined that your children see Christ in you? Could you say to your son or daughter – “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ?” If not, why not? What is getting in the way of you being that type of example? I beg of you to remember that it is your child’s soul that is at stake! The example you lay before them will either lead them down the path to heaven or hell. Consider the words of our Lord Jesus Christ whereby he says:

but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea (Matthew 18:6).

When it comes to children, we are not to tread lightly. It is an awesome responsibility to train up a child in the way he should go. If it is to be done right, it will require our time, our resources, and most of all, our example. May God help each of us to live a life that brings our children to the foot of the cross, for His glory!