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October, 2006

by: Dave Hintz

How to Share with Your Family

If you were to poll most Christians and ask, “Would you rather share your faith with a Muslim pilgrim in Mecca or your antagonistic grandpa at Thanksgiving?”, most people would choose the Muslim. The fact is, family members are often the most difficult mission field. When sharing with family we often want to do it in such a way that we won’t become the subject of family gossip—you know, the whispered “concerns” that we’ve joined a cult. Or we fear that if something goes wrong in the Gospel presentation, that family member might turn against us and spend every Christmas gathering awkwardly avoiding us. To make things more difficult, if you came to Christ later in life, family members are often the most skeptical about any spiritual change. They still see you as that self-centered, proud, rebellious child they grew up with. Even Jesus’ family had a hard time accepting that He was anything other than their older brother or firstborn son (Matt. 12:46-50; John 7:4-5)!

Though the ministry is difficult, the family can also be the most productive and fruitful soil for the Gospel. When I polled my small group the other night, five of the six men mentioned that they came to Christ through the witness of a family member. Sharing with our family, whom we love and want to see saved, is important!! In light of this, I want to take this opportunity to give four principles which will help you share your faith with your family.

1. Pray: It is God — and not you — who will bring about their conversion (Acts 13:48). Pray that God might give your family a spiritual thirst. Pray that He will allow you or someone else to share with them. And pray that God will embolden you to share the Gospel if an opportunity comes your way.
2. Live a blameless life: If you laugh at dirty jokes, share in family gossip sessions, and watch off-color entertainment with them, you lose all credibility with your non-Christian family members. In their mind, you are just like them, but worse — you are a hypocrite, because while they don’t pretend to be religious, you do. If this is you, it’s not too late. Repent to God for your hypocrisy and then confess to your family that you blew it. One thing which separates worldly sinners from Christian sinners is that Christians humbly fess up to their sin and try to make things right.
3. Be rich in good works: In addition to confessing your shortcomings, augment your testimony with acts of kindness. Buy your mom flowers, help your dad around the house, send notes of encouragement to your sister, etc. In the wise words of Peter, “For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men” (I Pet. 2:15). Doing good deeds reinforces to them that you are telling them the Gospel out of love for them. Further, if they won’t let you talk to them about it, then seek to win them without words (Matt. 5:16).
4. Confront: This does not mean that you corner them and chastise them for their sinful ways. Rather, you seek to have a conversation in which you lovingly let them know how to become a Christian. Often, this is best done through testimonial form. Share about your life before Christ, how you came to understand that you are a sinner, that you need Jesus, and how you repented of your sin. Then at the end, ask them if they have ever been born again.

If a one-on-one confrontation is too much, perhaps you can make an arrangement. Invite a believing friend to join you for dinner the next time your family is in town, and have her share her testimony and her faith. Then, when your friend has her unbelieving family over, you return the favor. Parents often have a hard time being advised by their own children, so an outsider may have a better chance of engaging them. If this arrangement doesn’t work, try writing an evangelistic letter. Include your own testimony and a clear Gospel presentation. This is particularly effective with those family members who deftly avoid any and all spiritual conversations.

Regardless of which strategy you choose, resolve in your mind to give your family members one clear chance to hear the Gospel. Don’t wait for them to talk to you; rather, approach them in a humble, loving, and gentle manner and share your concern for their soul. Who knows? God might reward your faithfulness by giving them faith.