Boys Will Be Boys

September, 2007

by: Brock Bolde

As a parent of two girls and one boy, I have come to the realization of one very great truth; boys and girls are different — way different! And these differences stretch way beyond the mere physical realm. They reveal themselves in the way boys and girls think; the way they play; the way they eat; the way they (you name it); bottom line, boys and girls are different! And yet, despite this vast array of differences, you and I are still called to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). The “them” of this passage is referring to both male and female children. As elementary as that may seem, there are moments whereby that does not appear to be the case; particularly when it comes to boys.

For some reason there almost appears to be a double-standard for boys. “Boys will be boys” is the trump card that is played to move beyond their sinful behavior. And while I fully agree with and even promote the fact that “boys will be boys,” this should never dismiss our need to correct sinful behavior – even in our sons! Certain qualities in boys seem to be tolerated, even encouraged, even though they go against the teachings of Scripture. A certain boy may always rush to be first – that’s good, some think, because it demonstrates a necessary quality for life. “It shows ambition — a quality that will serve the young man well when he transitions from boyhood to manhood!” And yet this pursuit to be first at any cost goes contrary to the teachings of Jesus:

…but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; (Matthew 20:26-27)

There is to be a certain degree of humility that our sons are to practice. They must learn to regard others as more important than themselves. They must learn to not merely look out for their own personal interests but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4). This is a quality that knows no gender. It is a quality that is to be practiced by both males and females; by the old as well as the young. As parents, we must teach our sons that they are not the center of the universe; that the world does not revolve around them. God desires them to die to themselves and to treat others in the same manner in which they wish to be treated (Matthew 7:12).

Parents, let me ask you a question. What do you desire most for your son? In other words, if you could give your son one thing, what would it be? Would it be incredible athletic ability? Would it be great intellect? Would it be superior leadership skills? Would it be a good job that pays lots of money? How you answer the initial question, assuming that you answer it honestly, can reveal a lot about how you are going to parent your son! For whatever is most important to you will greatly influence the manner in which you “train up” your son. If having a son that loves the Lord our God with all his heart, and with all his soul, and with all his mind, and with all his strength (Mark 12:30) matters most to you, then you will instruct him in accordance to the Word of God! On the other hand, if having a son that is great in accordance to the world’s standards matters most to you, then you will overlook his sinful behavior to the extent that it drives him closer to your desired goal for his life. Many of us are attempting to blur the line between God’s standard for our sons and the world’s! As a result, we are raising-up a generation of boys who know a lot about God but very little about how that information is to shape their pursuits and behavior. May God give each of us the grace to raise our sons in accordance to His matchless Word such that they too might walk in a manner that is worthy of their calling; regardless of their gender!