Love One Another (Even Siblings)

May, 2008

by: Brock Bolde

As parents that are concerned for the well-being of our children, we go to great lengths to insure that our children are properly clothed, eat well-balanced meals (assuming that Macaroni and Cheese counts as long as they eat a couple of carrots with it), and get plenty of sleep. And not only do we take care of these very important physical needs, we also strive to bring them to church every Sunday, bring them to AWANA every Wednesday, pray with them, and diligently teach them the Word of God. A great deal of time and effort goes into training up our children in the way that they should go.

And yet, how easy it can be to carelessly overlook the manner by which our children speak and play with one another. On a day when you have your wits about you and you’re feeling rather brave, take some time to observe your children; watch their facial expressions and body language with one another; listen to the tone of their voices as they speak to one another. And then ask yourself this very telling question – “Would I let my child speak or act that way with somebody other than his sibling?” or “Would I let my child speak or act that way if we were at church?”

In summing up the entire teachings of the Bible, Jesus tells us that the two greatest commandments are – “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF” (Matthew 22:37-39).

Our tendency may be to place so much emphasis on the first commandment that we treat the second as if it’s not even there. But Jesus, who could have very easily just given the great and foremost commandment, offers us a second one that He likens to the first – that you love your neighbor as yourself. Teaching our children that their siblings fall into the category of being their neighbor (not some exempt class of humanity) is the task that is before each of us as parents; teaching our children that they are to love their siblings is right up there with teaching them that they are to love God. It is not alright for us to sit by and excuse our children’s lack of love for one another as being “normal.” This type of behavior is not indicative of being a Christian. In 1 John 4:21 we are told that “the one who loves God should love his brother also.” While this passage is not referring specifically to a bloodline brother, the point is still made that there is a direct correlation between our love for God and our love for the people in God’s family. Again, in John 13:35 Jesus tells us that “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” It is very difficult for our families to be testimonies to the on-looking world if our children treat each other with anything but love and concern. If our families look just like the world’s families, then how is Christ put on display? How is He made much of? You and I must never accept ungodly behavior between our children. We must encourage them to treat one another with the same attitude by which they would wish to be treated (Matthew 7:12). When our children treat one another with disrespect or hatred, it is not just “normal” sibling rivalry – it is sin and we must seize that opportunity to lovingly point it out as such and encourage them to turn away from it. 1 John 4:20 plainly states – “If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

Our children, like us, will sin and thus fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). But instead of tolerating that, let us look for ways to encourage and challenge them to live a life that seeks to bring glory to our Lord Jesus Christ. Let’s remind them that God wants our children to show love towards one another; that showing love towards one another is right and pleasing to God. May each of us do our part to have families that testify of God’s grace and mercy as evidenced by our love for one another (a love that extends even amongst your family’s siblings)!