Showroom or Assembly Line

July, 2008

by: Brock Bolde

Most parents that I know, myself included, can be easily irritated by the countless corrections that they need to make with their children. “Don’t speak to your brother/sister that way!” “Don’t talk with your mouth full!” “Don’t play ball in the house!” The list could go on and on but I trust that we have all felt the frustration that comes from continually correcting/instructing our children. How flustered we become in this process rests largely on how we view our children. If we see our children as finished products, then it stands to reason that our having to “correct” them would frustrate us! If, however, we see them as works in progress, then needing to “correct” them becomes a lot less frustrating.

In their book entitled “Good and Angry” Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller offer this rather helpful illustration:

Imagine a car dealership where a man named Martin works in the showroom. Martin sells cars to prospective customers. If he sees a car without a door, he’s surprised and upset. He doesn’t expect to see defects. Cars in the showroom are supposed to be finished. Bill, on the other hand, works in the factory and inspects cars for flaws and missing parts. It’s his job to find problems and fix them. In fact, Bill is prepared with a number of routines depending on the nature of the problem. If a door is missing, Bill doesn’t get upset; he just goes through his routine of obtaining a door and putting it on. Bill knows that when a car is on the production line it requires continual work. Doors are added, pieces are put together, and workers are continually looking for ways to improve the product. (p. 232).

Far too many parents approach their children like Martin; they think of them as finished products that are on display rather than unfinished products that are still in need of various tweaks and changes. The Apostle Paul understood that there was only one person that was ever ready for the “showroom” – that being Jesus Christ. That is why in Philippians 1:6 he writes that he is “confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Paul understood that we are all works in progress; works in need of perfecting. And this “perfecting” will continue to take place until the day that Christ Jesus takes us to be with Him in glory. The better we understand this, the less likely we will be to respond to our children’s need for perfecting in an ungodly manner. When you and I get angry because we are needing to deal with our children’s imperfections, let us remember our own shortcomings and the fact that God is not done with us either. When we are reminding our children for the 621st time of what they are to do and how they are to do it, let us remember how patient and gracious our heavenly Father has been in telling us what we are to do and how we are to do it! When our children are in need of correction, let us remember that they are really no different than us; they are on the assembly line, not quite ready for the show room and thus missing some much needed “parts.” When we view them in this proper way, it keeps us from responding in an ungodly manner and helps us to do the very thing that God calls us to do as parents – to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). And if you and I are to do this biblically, then we must insure that our instruction is always done in love, out of concern and care for our children – not in frustration because we have been inconvenienced. Viewing our children as works in progress should never make us excuse their wrong behavior, but it should help us to see their wrong behavior as an opportunity to help them to grow and mature.