Lessons Learned from Weakness, Part 1

October, 2008

by: Jack Hughes

Recently God put me through a series of trials that all seemed to be teaching me that I am weak. It started with a very busy spring and summer calendar. I had conferences, retreats, and speaking engagements both at Calvary Bible Church and elsewhere. I wanted to do all of these things and looked forward to them. I had everything planned out on my calendar. The problem is that life does not always allow you to do what you have planned. God, in His infinite wisdom, brought unforeseen obstacles and set them in my way. This forced me to adjust my already fine tuned and packed calendar. Lost time must be made up. So early mornings and late nights become the routine. Yet this is life in the ministry. It is nothing I haven’t experienced before and will continue to experience in the future on a regular basis.

My trip to Brazil, though fruitful and used by the Lord, was also a trial. I didn’t learn what I needed to preach and teach until ten days before departure. This required huge amounts of time and sacrifice to get prepared and still maintain all my regular commitments. Needless to say I was exhausted before leaving. You would think this was lesson enough, but no! The flight there was a nightmare that would take the entire Calvary Review to describe. Though tired and worn out, God sustained me during my time there and by His grace I made it through.

After another painful flight back home, with missed connections, a mild case of hypothermia, and delays, I finally was back. However, I caught the cold that everyone around me on the plane was sharing. Though I had planned for a few days of rest after returning from Brazil, my calendar was filled up with events out of my control. Thus the Lord put me into the fray immediately after returning. I pressed on as best I could though tired and sick. In God’s providence, the cold I contracted caused me to lose my voice. I was unable to preach on Sunday morning and was forced to get some rest.

These events were followed and mixed with an entire string of financial burdens, preparing to get a daughter to college, and an attempt to take some vacation. The desire to “rest hard” during vacation caused me to work harder before vacation. When vacation came I contracted some mysterious abdominal pain. I got to visit the emergency room at 2:00am, got to try some morphine, and spent most of my vacation sick on my back. The doctors discovered many things that did not cause the pain, but never discovered what did. Thus the mystery still isn’t solved. Summer is gone. Fall is here, the time when ministry picks up speed.

Though all of these trials were painful, and in some degree still continue, God did use them to my spiritual good. And it is in this Calvary Review that I would like to share some of the lessons I have learned from my weakness so that it might be an encouragement to you when you go through trials.

First lesson — God is God and I Am Not

This is an obvious truth. Yet it is one of those lessons we need brought to our remembrance frequently. Our sinful hearts make us lust to be our own god. We want to have control. We like to have things our way. We have our plans, our goals, and our desires, but God has His too. When our plans conflict with Gods, His will always win. There is nothing like an unforeseen trial to snap us to attention and remind us that we are not God, nor are we in control. Prov. 16:9 reminds us of this, “The mind of man plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”

It is easy to be happy and content when our plans are being fulfilled. Yet it is quite another thing to be happy and content when our plans fail, when they are thwarted, delayed, or set aside altogether. When God’s contrary plan is foisted upon us by providence, then we find out what kind of spiritual metal we are made of. Will we graciously submit to God’s will for our lives, or will we kick against the goads? When our plans collide with God’s, the lesser must give way to the greater.

This is why James in James 4:13-15 says, “Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’ Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.’” This is not to say that we shouldn’t plan for the future. The Bible encourages us to look ahead and make plans for the future. Yet at the same time it also tells us we must not presume upon the future and we must be willing to receive trials from God’s hand as part of His good and perfect will for our lives.

Truth be known, there is only one plan—God’s plan. Sometimes our plan aligns itself with God’s and it appears we are getting what we want. But in reality God is getting what He wants. At other times our plans don’t agree with God’s, and God still gets what He wants because He is God, and we are not. God speaking through Isaiah the prophet says in Isa. 46:8-11, “Remember this, and be assured; Recall it to mind, you transgressors. Remember the former things long past, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is no one like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, ‘My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure’; Calling a bird of prey from the east, The man of My purpose from a far country. Truly I have spoken; truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it, surely I will do it.”

During my recent bout of trials I was again reminded and forced to live out what intellectually I already knew—God is God and I am not. He is sovereign, I am not. He is in control, I am not. He declares the end from the beginning, accomplishes all His good pleasure, not me. So when trials come my way I can know, though difficult to endure, they are from the hand of a loving God, given to me for my good.

Charles Spurgeon said it this way, “It would be a very sharp and trying experience to me to think that I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by His hand, that my trials were never measured out by Him, nor sent to me by His arrangement of their weight and quantity.” There is a comfort in knowing that even very painful and prolonged trials are sent to us by a good and loving God who works all things for our good (Rom. 8:28).

Second Lesson — I Need God All the Time

This summer, after the never-ending flight to Brazil, we arrived tried and worn out, with a very busy preaching and teaching schedule ahead of us. It was hot, there were lots of man eating mosquitoes, and constant danger of dysentery from the local food. I was jet lagged and struggled to get a few hours of sleep each night. I remember getting up early to review sermon and lectures notes before the day began. I was sitting on the side of my bed, hot, and tired, trying to ignore the giant cockroaches running by my feet. I began to pray and ask God for help and strength for the day. I knew that apart from His grace I could do nothing.

As I was praying, at one point I said, “Lord, I really need you to help me today.” It was at that moment I received the greatest blessing of the entire trip. I realized that what I was really saying is, “Lord, usually I don’t need you when I am feeling good and rested because then I can trust in my own flesh and strength, but now that I am weak and tired, I need you.” The truth hit me like a dump truck dropped from heaven—I always need God! I need Him when I am healthy and rested and when I am tired and sick. I need God all the time. This lesson was so clear to me that as I reflect upon it, I wonder if that wasn’t the primary purpose for the entire trip to Brazil. God wanted to teach me, remind me, that I need Him all the time regardless of my situation in life. In fact I probably need God more when I am rested and healthy because it is then that I will be most tempted to forget God and trust in myself.

Third Lesson — It’s Hard to Watch From the Shore

Ever since I came to know the Lord and was established in a local church, I have had a desire to serve others. I can’t imagine not serving. I love serving. There are so many needs in the body of Christ and so few workers. Serving is often a great deal of fun but even when it is difficult, it is always a great blessing. However, after a time you can take your ability to serve the Lord for granted. You begin to presume upon the Lord thinking you will always be able to serve the body of Christ. It is at this time that the Messiah complex can sneak up on you and delude you into thinking that God needs you, rather than you need God.

After my trip to the emergency room I was forced to lay low for five days. I was reminded of the folly of thinking God needed me. God doesn’t need me, you, or anyone else. Paul, addressing those who put too much emphasis on their good works said in Gal. 6:3“For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” The person who understands the truth about themselves understands that they are “nothing.” That’s not very much. Howard Hendricks said it this way, “Put your finger into a glass of water and pull it out. Then look into the glass. The dent that is left in the water is how significant you are to the kingdom of God.” It is good to be reminded that God doesn’t need us, we need Him.

Yet as painful as the lesson of our insignificance is to learn, it was the beginning of a much more painful lesson God wanted me to learn. That lesson is learning to trust the Lord while being set aside from ministry. While many have no desire to be involved in ministry at all, which I think is a clear indication they are lost and without Christ, there are others who like to serve—no, they love to serve! I am one of those people. Yet I need to be reminded that my service is to be offered in love to God and others. I need to be reminded that God doesn’t need me, I need Him. When God, by His good providence removes me from the front line, I need to submit. I need to be content with being sidelined while the battle rages. And though I still haven’t learned this lesson well, I need to submit with grace and contentment. I don’t do this very well either.

As I laid in bed or reclined in my easy chair for several days, it was torture! The weather outside was perfect! It was slightly overcast in the morning, clear and bright in the afternoon with a cool breeze. Perfect weather for my vacation but there I was sick and weak in bed. I wanted to read, but could not as my pain and the drugs they gave me prevented it. I wanted to do some projects around the house, help someone, be productive, but this wasn’t God’s plan for me.

It was then that Lisa, my wife, left a little devotional open where I would be sure to find it. There was a quote in that devotional that cut me to the quick. It was written by J. R. Miller, a Presbyterian pastor, author, and editor of many books. Miller wrote these words, “Must life be considered a failure for someone compelled to stand still, forced into inaction and required to watch the great, roaring tides of life from shore? No—victory is then to be won by standing still and quietly waiting. Yet this is a thousand times harder to do than in the past, when you rushed headlong into the busyness of life. It requires much more courage to stand and wait and still not lose heart or lose hope, to submit to the will of God, to give up opportunities for work and leave honors to others, and to be quiet, confident, and rejoicing while the busy multitude goes happily along their way.”

Ouch! That was me! Forced into inaction, to wait on the shore! And yes, I found it to be a thousand times harder than actually doing the work of the ministry itself. Maybe God has taken you out of service or will in the future. Against your will you will have to watch the busy multitude serving the Lord while you wait on Him whose ways are perfect. These are some of the lessons I need to learn. I have a few more which I want to share with you in the next Calvary Review – Lord willing!