Real Men Don't Eat Quiche

November, 2008

by: Tim Carns

Men, I don’t have to tell you how much our culture bombards us as to what makes a real man. Books, ads, peers, commercials, movies, infomercials… they all tell us that real men are tall, handsome, muscular, rich, and have a deep voice. Real men can take a punch, they aren’t driven by emotion and they are “babe magnets.” From our boyhood on we are indoctrinated by this world to focus on these external characteristics.

Well, this cultural pressure is nothing new. It did not originate in our country or in our time. The preoccupation with a man’s physical features as a judgment of their manhood is also seen in the days of Samuel (some 3000 years ago) during the selection process of the first king of Israel.

The story begins back in 1 Samuel 8 when the people of Israel declared to Samuel that they wanted a king like the nations. God told Samuel to go along with the people’s request and not to take it personally because they weren’t rejecting him but were really rejecting God. They wanted to be like the world.

So, God gives them what they want—a king like the other godless nations had. He identifies Saul as the man who would be king.

Now there was a man of Benjamin whose name was Kish the son of Abiel, the son of Zeror, the son of Becorath, the son of Aphiah, the son of a Benjamite, a mighty man of valor. 2 He had a son whose name was Saul, a choice and handsome man, and there was not a more handsome person than he among the sons of Israel; from his shoulders and up he was taller than any of the people (1 Sam 9:1-2).

Notice how Saul is described here. What receives prominent attention? Rather than detailing his character or prior accomplishments which may qualify him as king, we are told about his physical features. Samuel says as much to the people later when Saul is publicly presented as King of Israel.

“Samuel said to all the people, ‘Do you see him whom the LORD has chosen? Surely there is no one like him among all the people.’ So all the people shouted and said, ‘Long live the king!’” (1 Sam 10:24). Samuel tells the people of Israel, “Do you see him? Just look at the man.” Saul was what the people wanted. He was tall, handsome, a fighting man, studly in the world’s eyes. From the looks of things on the outside, he was a man’s man. Yet, he was not God’s man on the inside. He may have had the looks but He did not have the character. Saul’s legacy was one of pride and lack of concern for the things of God. God’s summary judgment on Saul was “Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has also rejected you from being king.” (1 Sam 15:23)

Even Samuel himself fell into the trap of focusing on the external in evaluating the greatness of a man. When the Lord sent him to Jesse’s house to anoint the next king, notice Samuel’s response upon seeing one of Jesse’s sons:

When they entered, [Samuel] looked at Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’S anointed is before Him.” But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:6-7).

Eliab walks in and Samuel says, “Wow. Check this guy out. He looks like a king!” Eliab had not yet spoken one word or performed a single action and, yet, Samuel judged his ability to rule solely based on external considerations.

This account from Israel’s history shows that people have always had the tendency to evaluate a person’s character or value based on their external features. But, as we see in God’s response to Samuel in verse 7, God doesn’t care about what a person looks like on the outside. He cares about obedience from the heart, not externals. Considering what makes a man, we need to see what the Bible says about manhood. Does God care if a man has big muscles, drives a Mercedes and knows how to woo the ladies? How does God define true manliness? Look for next month’s article where we will consider what God has to say about what He looks for in a man since His opinion is the only one that really matters anyway, right?